This cutting costs thing is really getting on my nerves. I got damn pissed at my parents just now lah. I passed my mum the newsweek subscription thing to fill out, and next thing I know, my dad is pounding away at my door, quite determined to knock it down I imagine. Like wth man. They were shouting at me cause it was so expensive. Like its my fault only. And they kept saying that I should just share it with someone else from class. And they don't get that everyone already has their own subscription already and I'd be the class charity case. Its not like we can't afford it.. Seriously. I think its just having to spend so much on me at one go, what with the graphical calculator all. They get Adrian everything he wants and I get shouted at. Like wtf. They give him 400 bucks a month for his ciggarettes and alchohol and what not. And they can't cough up 200 bucks for a newsweek subscription for 2 years.

Dad was going on and on about how when he was in school everyone queued up for hours at the library for one silly book. Like I really have all the time in the world to stand around waiting for newsweek. Then when I got damn fed up at them nagging and said I'd pay for it myself, another tirade started. I really just wanted them to stop shouting so much, and they took it as being damn rude. I give up lah. I hate being at home nowadays. They're always knocking on my door for stupid stupid things just to irritate me. Like their day isn't complete if they don't break my concentration 47628 times. Its a wonder I managed to pass O's.

Anyway, as I was fuming, I came up with a list of things my parents find perfectly normal to spend on, as opposed to an utterly ridiculous newsweek subscription.

1. Buying mum 4 pairs of shoes a month.
2. Spending $1750 at NTUC to redeem a $100 dollar pot. (What a bargain)
3. Expensive face stuff that mum develops allergies to after like 1 use.
4. Changing the almost brand new house towels and bedsheets every 3 months.
5. New work clothes every month. (Cause heaven forbid you're seen in the same outfit twice)
6. Taking cabs back from work everyday.
7. Re-painting the house every year. In the same colour.

I could sit here and think of a million more, but I've more or less calmed down. Though its gonna be a while before I have a decent conversation with either one of them. Annoying-ness.

I hate stalkers, don't you?

Writing bio notes has got to be the most tiresome, unrewarding thing ever. It takes me like 45 minutes to get 2 sides of foolscap out, mainly because it takes me forever to understand what's going on. Plus I'm suddenly very into colourful things, so I keep switching pens. Its like I feel so proud of myself for having understood something, and then I look at the clock and realise I've only covered 3 pages. Most ego deflating thing ever. And I thought I was good at bio too. And I'm still thinking about him, which totally isn't helping matters any.

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I've been thinking about HIM all day. Yikes. This is seriously gonna do wonders for my rep. I totally don't do crushes, and yet here I am, constantly thinking about him. I feel like such the IJ stereotype; going to a co-ed school and falling for a guy in 2 weeks. Desperation has always been such an IJ strength.

Someone teach me how to get over him lah. Its incredibly annoying to be daydreaming about his smile when I'm supposed to be writing bio notes. I'm seriously considering turning lesbian. But then I'd just get crushes on girls. Hm. And being bi would just double the problem. What are people with no sexual orientation called?

For the first time in my life, I'm actually looking forward to going back to school, just so I can see him around. This is so not a me thing to do lah. I haven't had a crush this bad since primary 4. Oh and for those of you who do know about him, please don't spread okay. I'll just die if he knows. I'll move to another country. Or jump off a building. Or both. I wouldn't want him to know I died of embarrassment, literally.

Its really strange for me, doing crushes. Although I'm almost always dating someone, I'm not as boy crazy as you might think. I'm really just the normal girl. I do have other things on my mind okay, Shane. Although right now its just him. Argh. I hate myself when I get like this. I doubt he even knows my name. I feel like such a loser lah. I'm gonna find out as many horrible things as I can about him. Then I'll get disgusted and won't think of him anymore. Sounds like a plan. Sigh.

Why must you torment me so?

Look-alikes no? That's Dan from work and Joshua my cousin.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure...
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant

Shane's just told me about this new diet tip. Eat OATS. Like seriously, I'm not kidding. Apparently, the energy expended in actually digesting oats is more than the calories oats contain, so losing weight just got a hell of a lot easier. No more exercise, not like I ever did any to begin with. Oh yes, I should say, this only applies for proper oats okay. Like the kind you get from all those health stores. Not quaker's instant oats or whatever the nearest ntuc sells.

I had my first PE lesson today. We spent a half hour warming up to go.. EAT. At least we didn't run. The last time I ran was last last year's pft, so I'm absolutely dreading the first run. Hopefully dengue makes a comeback soon, and I'll get out of PE for the whole year. Or maybe I should play up my asthma. Haven't had an attack in a while, but they don't need to know that.

Malay was a first today too. It came as quite a shock really. First of all, practically everyone in malay class is malay. I think I'm way to used to IJ where we had like 3 malay girls in the whole level. The rest were just.. assorted individuals. And then the cikgu came in and just rattled off in this long stream of malay. By the time I've translated her first sentence she's onto the 27th. Anyone wanna sign up to be my malay translator from now on? I never had this problem at IJ. Cikgu spoke more English than us lah.

We got our official classes today, I'm in s026, like the last science class, which really does say a hell of a lot about my academic ability; or lack of it. And I've discovered that hardly anyone at SR got a decent grade for English, which totally explains why almost everyone reverts to Chinese whenever they can. I really need to get some English speaking friends. Or learn Chinese. Again I totally wish my parents had made me take Chinese instead. Was thinking of getting like conversational Chinese lessons on weekends or whatever, but as I'm struggling to cope with Malay, I highly doubt getting another language will help matters any. Its a wonder I'm any good at English, when its amazingly apparent I'm not linguistically inclined at all. Bleah.

I took Joshua out today. To watch some free movie at suntec. Er shaggy dog or something. Which totally reminded me why I stopped watching movies like this. Honestly. It was a Tim Allen movie. About talking dogs no less. Anyway I think Joshua enjoyed it so that's my good deed of the month I guess.

But wow. I totally cannot believe he's 13 already. He sure as hell doesn't act like it. He spilt like mustard all over his shirt and I sent him to the washroom to go wash it off. He came out telling me there wasn't any soap there. Like he didn't realise those tap looking things at the side of the tap were soap dispensers. Like which century is he living in? Though I think I totally tortured him as well, dragging him into every shop to look at stuff.

Anyway, yesterday I went with my parents to parkway parade so they could do all their giant shopping. We dropped by aunty cecilia's house first to pass some nonsense to her. Point is, I finally got to see Nikita again. Who is very botak btw. They shaved her head so that the hair would grow back thicker. I think that's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Don't they realise hair is NATURALLY thicker at the follicles and that's why it LOOKS like more hair is growing when its not? Thank god mum and dad never did anything like that. My hair is thick enough as it is. There is a reason why the lady takes 45 minutes to cut my hair. haha

So when we got there I totally dragged them to the nike shop to see the bag. Mum totally didn't want to admit it was nice, and kept insisting it wasn't meant for school. I think she still firmly believes we should all be carrying box bags, like her parents probably made her do. Dad said his parents made him carry the flour bag to school. As in the free bag that came with the flour. Hm.. Anyway, I was so ready to buy it, taking the nets card out all, ready to part with my $82.90, when dad stopped me. He was all.. I didn't get you anything for doing well for your O's and all, so I'll pay for this. Which was totally the sweetest thing EVER, but it made me feel so horrible, not only for making him spend so much, but because I totally didn't work for O's at all. Like I'm totally unworthy of it or something. Though I must admit it seems like I totally surpassed their expectations or whatever, cause they were so shocked. Like they must have expected me to get 35 points or something.

School starts proper tmr. First GP lecture's tmr, wanna see what that's like. Though I really need to brush up on my current affairs. If everyone stops hogging the papers maybe. I should really go catch up on bio, though its a seemingly lost cause. Oh well.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 83% Stability 50% Orderliness 30% Accommodation 56% Interdependence 50% Intellectual 70% Mystical 50% Artistic 43% Religious 36% Hedonism 43% Materialism 76% Narcissism 63% Adventurousness 76% Work ethic 56% Self absorbed 63% Conflict seeking 70% Need to dominate 63% Romantic 76% Avoidant 23% Anti-authority 63% Wealth 63% Dependency 56% Change averse 36% Cautiousness 56% Individuality 70% Sexuality 36% Peter pan complex 23% Physical security 83% Physical Fitness 64% Histrionic 76% Paranoia 50% Vanity 76% Hypersensitivity 70% Female cliche 70%

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personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were medium which suggests you are moderately relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
messy, outgoing, open, self revealing, ambivalent about chaos, unpredictable, not good at saving money, social, likes large parties, likes to stand out, risk taker, quick to make friends, does not like to be alone, rash, fame seeking, sarcastic, craves attention, social chameleon, low self control, food lover, not rule conscious, weird, assertive, not a perfectionist, anti-authority, thrill seeker, vain, likes to fit in, reckless, emotionally sensitive, leisurely, trusting.

what do all of you think?

So I went back to work yesterday. To return my uniform and all. It was so strange to come there as like a customer. And sooo many things have changed its amazing. Even the stupid chilli packets. I totally miss everyone there. Working's a hell of a lot more fun than sitting through lecture after lecture. And it so happened that just about everyone I liked at work was on shift, which was totally great. Although I didn't really get to talk to them, being as they still had to work. Contrary to popular belief, the world does not revolve around me. Sigh.

Jenn was such a darling for following me all the way there. We had lunch and did a bit of window shopping while waiting for Dan to collect my uniform. And it was there I fell in love... with this reallly really nice nike bag. I'm totally gonna get it this weekend. That's $82.90 I'm gonna be short of.

Speaking of cash, I've been doing some calculating. At the rate I've been dropping pens during lectures, that 3 dollar pen no less, I'm gonna be spending at least 40 bucks on stationary every month. !!! The stupid swivel table is really annoying. And I'm ultra clumsy too so that doesn't help matters any.

Oh wow. Reading through this I realised I've become a hell of a lot more boring. Maybe I am a JC person after all.

I am colorblind
coffee black and egg white
pull me out from inside
I am ready

I am taffy stuck and tongue tied
stutter shook and uptight
pull me out from inside
I am ready I am fine

I am covered in skin
no one gets to come in
pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding

I am colorblind
coffee black and egg white
pull me out from inside
I am ready I am fine

colorblind - counting crows.

Okay so its been like years since I've last blogged, but its up and working now, spent the better part of an hour re-doing this. Figured since everyone's headed off in different directions, it'd be a way for all of you to keep track of what's going on with me and all. Its really annoying to tell the same story 4567 times online every night. Much much easier this way. :)

I'll update sooner or later, I'm off to watch tv now.